Pain of Regret

It’s an afternoon. But not just any afternoon. My mother in a wheel chair faces the second floor balcony. The sun is as hot as possible for a February afternoon. It is a sun light which is bearable. Its cool sunlight and does not burn you in a minute but you can let it hit your skin for few minutes, lets say 10-15 minutes and then it heats up your skin, bones, blood, and muscles. It is a heat to enjoy.

We should have…I should have gone out and replied to them when both of them came up my stairs and abused me and you. my mom is really regretful of this pain. She looks down at one of them walking outside our home. We are on the second floor and the abusers on the first floor.

I see her white hair and her scalp visible with black dots on her scalp which come up with age. She is an old woman who has seen the landscape of Iran, then delhi. Now her life is confined to being inside the 200 sq yard second floor builder flat.

She lost her husband in 2012 because of complications in the heart and then heart failure. Her hopes lie in two of her sons. and this sunlight which is meant to heal her surgery wounds.

I don’t have immediate answers to her pain, that why did we not reply back to the abuses when they came on us. But it put me to thinking what she was going through.

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