OK I have created a world of simulation, whether 3D or live simulation using the current technology. I have worked with New media. Media which is new. Its not the pen, pencil that i use to draw but its new.

One such is gaming and gaming in the form of Video, Video art is New media. It is a form of Reality.

but my arteries are hardening. Whether they are or not, as a human, my arteries would be changing to lead me to a heart attack if the need be. Same would be with other organs as I grow older.

I would have weak muscles and bones and struggle to open a tight can if I am not building these muscles. If I enter a mall, i would get consumed in finding the right thing to buy. This would take up my time and I would be looking at things. Watches, jeans, laptop, bag, shoes and I would be getting consumed.

The same knowledge experience thing I would be doing. Applying to a residency, a project, going to a new place, executing it and coming back with new knowledge experience. What we call in art as Research. It is the same headache, the same tension headache, the same gas, the same acidity, the same tears, the same fears, the same fantasies, the same fixed mind which sees the same all the time. Its the same melancholy spaces, moments. Not much would change.

And art world would have portfolio, this portfolio would reflect my drawings and now Simulation. The digital space, kind of like putting ones hand into the laptop screen and going inside this. This will not change the arteries from not hardening or for death to not come or for the outside conflicts to not happen. They will remain as it is. People will get killed, I can be killed just like them. My body will not change.

Its perhaps maybe my 20th or 30th summer of delhi. it is 46 degrees celsius in the day and i enjoy walking in this sun in the afternoon with a turban on my head as much as i did in the 1990’s when i first encountered it. The year was maybe 1993 Today is 2023. The heat of the sun kills and it is worth dying for. It keeps your Vitamin D levels on a good high, but now I am simulating.

I did not know a camera existed that shoots only black and white but now when i am aware of this technology, the camera was invented and has been around for 100 years. So now I know, so now it exists. So now I know that New media is there so now New Media and simulation exists. But the body is dying. or the body is changing.

There is simulation and then there is stimulant of Coffee and people in pain in the city who are protesting and pain closer to me, personal pain and there is routine of things to do. Commitment at work place etc etc.

Its Ok to test out New media to see what that world is all about. Its ok to draw a line there too. Because its a line only. Lets see what happens but ironically i come back to the same kitchen to cook food, the same gas stove to heat food, the same chicken, the same bed to sleep, the same room.

Im funny you know. Its the same funniness. Same is how i see myself whether i see myself through the mirror which i hardly ever look, but when i see my body without the mirror, my legs, feet, arms, its the same gaze. I don’t have anything new.