a you tube video spoke of entering a spiritual phase through any mood that you might be encountering. Anger, hatred, jealousy, abuse, tearful, bitter, stressed, over stressed, physical, mental pain, whatever the state might be, of chasing a deadline, target, of shock, of regret, thinking, over thinking, staring into the space, frustration, troubled relationship, loss of someone, of something, guilty of something, anger towards someone, towards something, pain of any form, or joy of any form, won something, cheated from someone or cheated someone, victory of something, a material gain, or a praise, prize which came your way, recognition of something, achieved something, excited, over excited , happy, laughing a lot, uncontrollable excitement, whatever the state might be, what ever the emotion might be, there is a path to now enter into that spiritual phase.
I responded by entering my room. An empty room with no people but three almirahs, a LED TV on the wall, towers of sketchbooks, a double size bed, 2 aluminium based storage boxes, whiteboards, two doors, one to enter the room and one for the tiny name sake balcony.
So i entered this empty room. I say empty because no other human is there except me. So i enter pretending something is happening. I am filled with a surprise emotion, that something will happen any moment, that something is there behind the Almirahs. That as i walk, any moment i will encounter that. My knees are bent slightly. I walk with caution. I know now, i will be met with ____________________ emotion due to _________________________ event.
It is this only, I concluded or felt in that moment. although as i turned, i was met with the the third door, the bathroom door in that moment of turning. And there was no one there. So i turned around, looked around and by just doing so, i was met with _____________ feeling. This made me smile and i saw this as a performance.
The performance was: One is that i acted, performed. I knew that is
kay pal pal mai kutch ho raha hai, jaisay jaisay mai aagay baraa, mainay emotions ko experience kiya, kay is kay har pal mai kutch bhi ho saktaa hai, aur kutch hua bhi, kyu ki har waqt kutch na kutch hotaa hai
I knew that this was it. And i am hell bent upon responding to, like a mice to every given situation possible. I know nothing else. I am moving to: moving from a given scene at all times.
The eagle torn into, ripped into the belly of the snake to take out the pink toned meat while the snake cried slithering in a wavy like form. The consciousness was leaving. The snake was departing its snake form. The eagle claws were firmly gripped. Grip and eat. I have never eaten anything like this. My meal is cooked and so i don’t need to grip it. I have nails and delicate fingers which i admire and lick.
When i suffer because someone has said something to hurt me, i keep repeating it through my mouth or in the mouth in my head. it keeps repeating not in a loop, but a loop which keeps playing the narrative to new extended stories which are not even happening. New miserable, fearful, vengeance like situations, new impossible, never thought of horrible, sadistic, cruel situations, from which i have to take a U turn from, run away from, see them as thoughts only, but claiming that i thought of them.
I am not the Eagle, or the hawk who has clawed its meal and is focused in hunting like a bird animal. I dont HUNT. i get HUNTED. I would not know if the hawk can think of such things or someone can hurt its feelings, or is tormented by the thought of previous birth or feels guilty eating a snake alive.
But the one thing both of us have in common is that both of us can draw. Yes DRAWING !!!!! This article was all about drawing. Not about Spirituality, or the human mind, or the hawk. it was what both of us had in common. That is drawing.
Drawing is a primary function we do. Because we move. It is a pure mental exercise. The hawk flies and draws in space, from one point to another point, the hawk draws out a line. I do so too. I draw when i am walking and when i put the line on paper. When i make that wrist movement. The hawk if given a surface claws out a mark / nishaan. There is a mark, stroke left. The claw will not create only a dot, but a mark, a stroke to create that drawing of that moment.
Draw, I drew, I have drawn, I am drawing – the hawk said. The hawk expressed. Whatever its state of mind, that might be. So did I. Both of us, as beings existing on this planet are drawing out. Can the hawk draw out from memory, or draw in the form of representation, or draw a perfect circle is something we need to find out. Do we need to train the hawk to go to art college for 4 years of BFA and then 2 years of MFA. And at what age does the hawk take admission for the art college.
The hawk can teach us a thing or two about the drawing. About feelings. I can sit and wait for the hawk to draw my self portrait. Once it is done eating the snake. Or i can draw the snake being eaten and share that drawing with the hawk which might be inspired to draw REALISTICALLY. But can the hawk see ? Can the hawk see a representational form of the drawing? But it can draw out a line, scribble, mark, smudge, or just claw, rub its feathers, beaks into the paper of leave some form of trace to make it as a drawn something.
I am assuming that you might be thinking, that can the hawk now draw a landscape or the hawk would classify as a very good landscape drawer. Especially in the field of Topographical drawing, map drawing, routing, top view perspective.
For one thing, the hawk has better eye sight than me. And even without paper, has left marks of drawings at so many places in the landscape which i can never reach to.
Drawing is defined as – when you do something on a surface which looks like a line, it is a drawing.
Then it doesn’t matter how many lines, or for how long, as long as you made that line, be it an outline or inline or not just a line but lines. we know you drew!!
Come let’s draw now. Let’s begin with the hawk drawing workshop. let’s call it – HAWKAA Exercise. Its a full day exercise with a lunch break ( live snakes will be served ). You can take off your masks during that time. keep social distance while we draw during the workshop even if we are on Zoom. The Virus has mutated to the level of Virtual screen. It is compulsory to eat the snake so only non vegetarians can apply and that too with snake eating appetite.
please bring your sketchbook, pen pencil to draw.
( any attempt to fly like a hawk and leading to death will no be entertained nor will I be held responsible for such behaviour / acts. )