kurah

kurah is garbage. A title for an ongoing artist book, a selection of drawings done since 2019 which make up a police complain against certain people who began harassing via putting and using garbage as a way to create a fight.

what is really interesting is that this incident occurred in 2019 august and resurfaces on dec 20, 2021. It may become something or it may be diffused through common sense and mutual resolution. No wants wants a war and everyone wants peace but only till a certain point can one bear injustice and intolerant behaviour.

what is really even more interesting is that how by having a glimpse of kurah, many thoughts triggered and surprisingly they are having a life of their own in the head only. They are not real but are real when they come up in the head, as i am riding a Scooty , walking, sitting. They come up and they extend the narrative on and on and on. They give options on their own. All of these future events which have not happened and will not happen also, but the mind has started its own trip.

So in them, i am at the police station often, in a meeting with the other side to reach a peaceful situation or I am talking, listening, seeing. I see something. Lets say Kurah, then i am listening to people involved, or I am saying.

what is even more interesting than the previous 2 interesting paragraphs is that my mind has chosen this as a primary mode of action. It is focused in creating events in the head only. Which are often met with saying how bad the other person is. It is always the other who gets put down by me in the head as being this or that. I am judging the other to be this and that. Its not how true or false this might be but i am doing it. Its because I am hurt. I have been insulted, I have been shouted at, yelled at, abused it.

The pain

In 2019 me and my mother were insulted, abused, shouted at by these people. This is for real and not from the mind as a projection. In that period, police complains were filed and matter was brought under control. 2020 and 2021 were spent in Lockdown mode and now things resurfaces. And whatever the consequences might be, the mind does project its pain, its suffering, injustice, loss of control of a situation, feeling of being cheated, made fun of, made to feel inferior, weak, stupid etc.

It then uses this trauma forever as a way to function. The trauma does not go away, but time reduces the need to remember it. But it keeps circulating it.

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