The two sides

fear of making the other person overwhelmed. I am taking the Blog as a place where the reader can optionally read the notes if and when felt like.

The two sides is something which came to me just now as i set the washing machine for a washing load. It is right now soaking, spinning, rinsing my dirty filthy clothes filled with my sweat and other infection that my body might be carrying. tomorrow I will wear fresh smelly clothes of detergent powder. maybe i should put detergent powder on me after taking a bath and putting fresh clothes as being one step ahead of the game.

A message came to me regarding an expression on the tree, mother earth, soil, the ground. A beautiful message which took me to want to go for a walk in the forest and lick the trees bark till there is so bark left. to climb a tree and fall down and break every bone of my body and not get up, rot and just get buried into the soil and hopefully become meat for the wolves.

No, that is not the two sides. This was side one. Of completion. But I am on the other side. I am like a chumbak. chumbak is magnet. I get stuck to words and convert them for my own dirty means. As dirty as my unwashed clothes.

I have a dirty filthy mind, it stinks. I after a point am HELL for the other. As my young brother rightly puts it, someone whose face he can not stand to look at. he calls me sweetly FRAUDY ! A person who does fraud. he also calls me worth nothing. someone who sits on his ass and fills up sketchbooks but does not earn any money. He maybe right and my mother rightly put it that I was born an idiot. It is because an oxygen cylinder exploded on my face blasting me to a new mental space. As she rightly puts it, I must be a moron to turn the oxygen cylinder’s valve to full speed as only I the moron can do it. But this is not side 2.

Side 2 is the other side. Instead of behaving like a good boy and going to the forest, I become the desperate loser that I always am. Someone who can not control his own drool. I am, as I have rightly put it, someone who can not control his drool. I am worse than a dog. A dog is a dog. I am an old man who has drool problem.

So these are the two sides. I am informed from one side to connect with spirituality and I started to drool. You say whatever and I will Drool.

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