Relationships can be really interesting, especially if something is far away. The Pulsar which i can not forget is at such a distance from me. What is this distance? When i look inside the small boxes i am creating, there is a distance that i feel from the object and there is an open space in them.
I have been roaming around inside the JNU campus searching for something. And while roaming i felt a distance from the people who passed me by, the distance from the buildings which stood there, which i did not feel like entering.
But in the case of a Pulsar, I can only imagine its distance. I don’t even know if imagination is the right word because I don’t even know how to calculate such a distance. I know outside the Physical Science class where Pulsar is being lectured, stands a green house. It is not a classroom space, but a laboratory where Plants are being kept and it is a place which has a distance from the rest of the campus. It is not a hostel where people stay, nor is it a typical classroom but it is there and so it has a distance.
I also had a distance that night from the crowd which was voting that night. I also keep a distance from everyone around me. I want a distance from my works too. I want them inside the gallery but at a distance.
B1451-68, a known pulsar is 1403 light years away and a light year is 9 trillion kilometres. And a pulsar behaving like a light house is spinning at a speed of 700 times in a second.
The Chai wallah is usually less than a kilometre away on the campus. When i reach to his stall, no matter what, the time taken for my lemon tea is not too much, not more than five minutes. The distance between me reaching for the five rupee coin in my pocket, extending my arm to place the coin on the counter is not too much. The distance of me having a thought that i want to draw and reaching the wall is usually not too much. either if it comes on a campus, i am at a radius distance of 1 meter to 500 meters. If i am at home, the idea strikes me, i am roughly 7 kilometres on an aerial distance and by road mate be 8 kilometres. I do drive at a speed of 20 km to 60 km to reach the designated wall to make the mark. The thought arriving is never far as it originates from me. I know this is a myth.
I know that I do not know how close or how far this very thought or this thoughtless is but i am perpetually disturbed by how far the Pulsar is and what it is doing spinning at such speeds. I feel like coming near to it. But that is like a desire to come near a tree in the local park. That is possible but going and meeting is impossible, and that is what is bothering me. How does technology create something to view it and how does mathematics becomes a tool to calculate its becoming. And now my problem of knowing that the pulsar is in existence. This way too many things are in existence. I think i should stop using the word “thing” because I use it for everything.
by knowing of the pulsar, i experience it as a living being, as something which is communicating by acting out an action. Its written that its spinning is like a light house and overtime the light is in front of you, in this case, Earth, you see a flash of light and it spins again. If it is spinning then there must be an Earth on every side. my box also has more than one side. I have more than one side.
This relationship is a real relationship as something i want to know is light years away. I can not travel to it. travelling 1400 light years means that if traveling two light years takes 40000 years, then it is pointless doing calculation. It is best to find a good bakery near my house which sells good baked bread rather then buying market bread like britannia or harvest. There is too much salt in it. Its best to go to Safal store to get my bananas because that is nearer then the organic store. It is better to put a finger in the mouth to choke yourself then trying to put a rod down the throat because the gesture of putting the hand in the mouth is quicker, faster and easier. This does not make much sense what i wrote but writing non sensical text is easier and within reach. I wish the Pulsar was within reach but now i am dreaming that it is. Otherwise why would i be writing on it like i will know it just now or any day now.
come to me
come to me any moment
pulsar i do not love you
but i am curious of you