trash mountain. What is it and why was I taken there? And how are these videos popping up? And what is installation art? What am I trying to install in the room allocated to work in? How in my mode of practice, I have to be sometimes prepared for a moment, or I visualise and act and I have to do it? Why do I think in terms of years, everything is formed or spoken by me through years, in categories of time. And why have childhood memories become as origin of thinking? 

The trash mountain is one of my first discoveries in delhi of being in a place in delhi where I am not dealing with any memory but something which has formed because of me, the trash that I discard, it’s like my discarded self which has not been thrown away. I mean I threw it but now I am visiting a mountain of it. A livable mountain with people and dogs, so many of them. 

 
If trash mountain can form which I am, was unaware of, as I looked in other directions of the city. Then other forms of the trash mountain have also formed. This can not be the only trash that I have been consuming and which has formed a mountain? 

The space / place did offer me something one can consciously or collectively or indivually reduce, enlarge or make it more toxic or change its properties. If I want I could create liquid rivers inside it or make it harder, hard as metal. Because I control its components. 

I have to run also, always, in anything, the moment begins, or a momentum begins and the the pace picks up. So I am running inside the space allocated to me. The word ‘installation’ is a confusing term for me. What Am I installing? Thoughts which have copied and pasted on the wall, which are about expressions of the city? 

Expressions of walking inside out khirkee extension, Malviya Nagar again and again. Then a grill or a window of a home for three weeks becomes interesting? So I come and draw a grill? Or Dr Mehta tells me story of schizophrenia of shanti and Ravi. And then there is the theory of the mind? 

   
Then some don’t have a theory of the mind.  Is the desire to climb the trash mountain an act where you are aware of the theory of mind but you want to let go of it also? 

The trash mountain is also filled with its dust. Dust or dirt or mud or this material  which has a certain quality of darkness. And how is it inhabited by dogs? What other species, insects, living forms form a life cycle or call it as home. Is the trash mountain also a symbol of a trash planet being formed from the trash of, leftover of, discarded material which we don’t look back at. We don’t pause to stare at the garbage but are mediators in consumption of something and then garbage forms. Are we also some form of garbage? Are we a discarded form of something? Can we step back and start consuming our garbage also? Can I consume it in all stages? Can I consume others garbage? Does the show window in a shop display someone’s garbage? And i consume it and then discard it and then someone else uses it and then it finally reaches trash mountain mixing in the dust. And then I visit it to experience this journey. Are my memories trash and they glue each other when I walk around the trash mountain and as I walk I take away a bit of the trash of the trash mountain like magnet and leave some of my mental trash inside the physical trash mountain. 

Is my installed work in the residency a work and then it has some form of trash? And this trash is not the residue of what I didn’t use, no it’s the trash which accumulates within. So there are more than one form of the trash. Are all my ideas trash? Does trash always at some point make its self visible? 

Being there was like visiting apu ghar. I miss apu ghar. my apna Disney world. I could see the city which was vomiting and making this mountain even larger. Do mountains fall? Will this trash fall on the city and then we would all be like dogs.