Its difficult to NOT do that only. Here NOT is something which is not in the practice. Since it is different from a captured memory, in this case its memory of something you are provoked to do.
I deal with this as a fleeting thought but its not. It is not fleeting but it is always something NOT being done, as it is away from the practice.
So what is a practice and what is an art practioner? Since the practice is something which has been practiced because of how it has been, it never is the practice.
I did cut or use a cutter to chisel through rubber like foam, i used wire and went about searching for material. Now why would i search for material?
What is there to search in metal, steel, copper or rubber, plastic?
Formation of something has its way of forming. Sometimes it was an idea! So what do i do ? do i just re-create the idea and is this drawing? Have i drawn out a thought?
I don’t want to draw a thought but i do so also. I want to or attempted to replicate the way of creation. I walked, sat and watched the fire blades cut the surfaces. I worked through instructions. But then isn’t that my problem of thinking and drawing and breaking away to not do this only?
So in the process i do that what is NOT to be created. It is problematic in nature. It has a nature and can be defined or held in a thought as a way of stopping something. So to stop is also important.
Let me compare it with how i walk the city. I am walking because i have few destinations. They are undiscovered and on my way to reaching them i discover unplanned material as this is surprising in nature. I am walking the city but it is not a city but a place expanded as a myth. It is not real but then this is again disturbing.
I can not erase history but only work on its interpretation. This is a natural phenomena but then what do i do? Is that a natural phenomena? As i am forever thinking it is as so well planned. This again is a problem.
Past few months were blocking unblocking, moments of unlocking and locking. It was like glue. I need glue but then it is again a problem. Is problem / solution the same thing?
Drawing notes in the monsoon:
drawing is fluid. Now i would not know what is fluid. So this is a problem!
Knowing, not knowing, doing, not doing, being there, not being there, these are all problems but the problem is i don’t visualise them as problems as i am so unsure of knowing what is a problem?
Two mountains have a bridge so why should i cross the bridge? So this is my problem!!!